“Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.”
― Ann Bradford
Sometimes it isn’t easy to be always positive. Some of you know the days where one could have slept all day and bridged the rest of time by playing a video game or watching series til the cozy night arrives – or it’s just me then nevermind. Also, our minds could be our worst enemy by confronting us with our inner critic and anxiety. If you always surround yourself with negativity it will be a hard battle to think positively. So what can you do?
You need to reflect and identify which negative aspects are in your life and which of them you can let go of.
Based on the 80/20 principle by Robert Koch: “80 percent of all our results in business and in life stem from a mere 20 percent of our efforts”.
It isn’t easy at all. Sometimes it can hit you unexpectedly because you thought this person is so meaningful to you, but at the same time a vampire who sucked all your energy. Nevertheless, as Robert Koch said that 20 percent of your action can lead to 80 percent of your happiness or even in this case unhappiness.
How do we start?
Create a table on a piece of paper with two columns. In one you will write all positive events, activities, people etc. you enjoyed and would do again. In the other the negative ones.
Firstly, we’ll start with the positive column.
- Roadtrip to Sweden
- Escape Rooms
- Birthday of my cousin, my father, mother, and my nieces
- Date Night with my significant other, movie comedy night
- Game Night with friends
- BBQ in summer with a lot of friends
- skillshare courses
- reading many books
You will notice a pattern here. I love to do something with my friends, exeperiencing new things and enjoy spending time with myself and my loved ones, too. Find your pattern. Did you write down that you have been in nature and loved it, do you love experincing or learning new things, then write it down.
Now if you have completed the first task it’s time for the second column, as you already have read, the negative aspects. All situations, daily activities, people, activities, work and personal related stuff will land in this column. For example:
- Drinking alcohol with friends
- Chatting and go out with my friend Cynthia, felt so miserable and like a piece of *** afterward every time, so why am I doing this?
- driving to work and chatting with my colleagues who aren’t nice at all and the last summer festival with them
- finishing projects or starting them to impress my boss
- my family always criticizing me
- stressing myself
- being at home alone
- eating many sweets and sugar
- reading and listening to bad news
Has something changed during quarantine? Do you feel more at ease or happy? Why is that, because you don’t have to work, don’t meet special people, you can do now what you love?
If you wrote all the negative events, situations, people, etc. Think about how you felt and if this is a feeling you want to feel again.
So, we need to change something.
For example :
- Drinking alcohol with friends of my spouse
Why is it negative? I’m not into alcohol anymore and felt uncomfortable with these people. So, I don’t drink alcohol or let my spouse meet them alone and I’m doing some fun stuff alone.
- Stressing about my studies, crying often and feeling unfulfilled in my studies, but afraid to change
Yes that’s tough, but think about the cause you started and now how you are feeling about it. Is it just this term which is exhausting or is that feeling always there and your gut is telling you that something is wrong (the same for your work).
You are allowed to surround yourself with positivity. Why not it is your life, isn’t it? The things which are making you smile, laugh and feel at your best should be represented more in your life as the negative. If these people, events or everyday actions don’t contribute to this feeling cut them out.
Don’t go to these meetings with your colleagues. If you don’t love your job, search for your passion learn it and quit your job or your study; if this person makes you feel of no value and always talks about negative things – not if they are in a phase I mean, but all the time- then let go, don’t meet with her again or talk just politely.
Implement those positive things into your life. If you loved watching movies do every week a movie night together or you loved playing games then a game night etc. If you love experiencing new things write a list of what you want to discover more or places in your area which would be nice to discover. And so on. You will see that just thinking about positive things will make you feel more happy and full of energy. Of course, sometimes we have bad times, too. Otherwise, we won’t grow and learn. We have to learn to appreciate and being grateful for those things.
For that reason try to do more what makes you happy.
Have a happy day, Annie. ❤