I was feeling down. Again. This lockdown isn’t easy for me, for many of us. I had to work again and I saw so many people wearing masks, but not keeping distance. I saw so many people thinking everything is alright letting their kids play with other kids, meeting their friends. I was exhausted. Why are they throwing all our efforts away? We all want to go back to normal, but we need to understand, that also our loved ones are best protected by keeping distance. You can meet, but stick to the hygiene requirements. So, I was feeling down. Work was hard and I slightly become aware this isn’t what I want to do in my life, although I only work as temporarily stuff. And overall the red lady would visit me this week I need to prepare. But I wasn’t in the mood. I could cry. It was a long time ago when I felt that way. When I broke off my biology studies.
So, what could help me through my negative thoughts and bad feeling?
I was unsure. Could writing out my thoughts help me? Maybe to change the perspective? I just started my inner monologue. Everything that bothered my head came to paper.
I asked me questions like:
How do you feel right now? Why?
What upsets you? Why?
What are you afraid of?
I tried my best to write: I have this feeling, not I feel, I had the thought, not I think. I’ve read in an article that this would help me to distance myself from my thoughts and feelings.
Then I realized after writing down that I could refresh my areas and see how fulfilled I am. Maybe they are the origins of my problems.
Some of my ideas we’re these:
Health: 3/10 sleep is great, wake up earlier.
no movement except walking two times a week
no good nutrition, many sweets, forget to eat, always the same recipes.
Environment: Do I feel inspired and motivated?
It’s okay. 5/10. I would love to decorate the bedroom and my office area, so I would love to be there. Now I feel more inspired in my living room area, also because of the sofa. 😀
I am too stressed sometimes. My boyfriend and I live together and we love our apartment. I work in the living room and he has an office, but even if he is in the other room, sometimes I need time for myself. When I know he is outside running or doing something else and I’m alone , just have time for myself. I love him and this doesn’t mean I don’t love spending time together, I do. But sometimes I need time for myself. If you know this feeling, let me know, so I don’t feel alone. 😀
These are some examples I wrote down. In my weekly part2, you can read about my other areas. While my journaling I wrote three pages, how this experience was and if I want to do journaling more, you will find out tomorrow. If you also want to try journaling here are great questions, so you know where to start.
If you have a hard time, breathe. You’ve got this.
You are not alone, Annie. ❤